I Need Him
by CharlotteBlackwood
Summary: Another Remus Smutshot! This one has the popular character, Mikki, from Sirius Black's List. It's sort of an alternate event. It doesn't happen in that universe unless you want it to. Remus/Mrs. Zabini. M.


**A/N: This is another Remus Smutshot, lovelies! This one goes with **_**Sirius Black's List**_**, although it's not a part of that canon, technically. The characters are the same, that's all. You should be able to enjoy it without having to read the other story. The last Smutshot, if you missed it for any reason, was Remus/Mrs. Lovegood. This is Remus/Mrs. Zabini. Enjoy!**

** -C**

"How many husbands has it been?" Remus said bitterly. "Five?"

"Seven," Mikki whispered, not wanting to wake her son, who hardly ever slept properly. "You know you can't keep coming around here, Remus. Someone will get suspicious, and even if Voldemort's gone his followers aren't."

Remus knew what she was talking about, of course. If Lucius Malfoy found out she was close with Remus she would be dead before she knew what happened. That was enough.

"I told you that Dumbledore can protect you-"

"Like he protected the Potters?" she spat. "No thank you. My son won't be an orphan. Besides, I have a job now. I'm respected."

He sighed.

"You know that was Sirius's fault," he said gently.

"Don't talk to me about Sirius," Mikki snapped, shivering.

She still loved him. Mikki still loved Sirius, no matter what he had done or how Remus tried to make her see it.

Remus knew he wouldn't be seeing her again for a long time, maybe only communicating through letters until she decided it was safe, so he lingered even though she was clearly bothered by something, probably by his mentioning Sirius.

She took a deep breath and said, "Remus, do you remember that summer when I begged you to sleep with me?"

"I remember," he said slowly, almost laughing at the ridiculous question. How could he forget such an amazing experience as having sex with a succubus?

She had been with Sirius and was craving him, but she was terrified of giving in and going to him, of hurting him.

"And do you remember the time after that?" she whispered, taking a step toward him.

"Y-yes," he muttered, trying to keep his mind from going fuzzy the way it did when she was turning on her charm.

"And the time after that?" she sighed, running a finger along his jaw.

He grabbed her wrist, trying to fight back the nausea at keeping her from touching him.

"We shouldn't do this," he managed to choke out.

"Please, Remus," she whispered, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I need him."

He had a brief moment of realizing that she was doing it because she'd lost Sirius again, not because of anything she felt for Remus, but perhaps it was better that way anyway. Remus and Mikki could be together, ironically, but there was no love between them.

And as always, she used her power to strip him of doubts and propriety and inhibitions and then used her hands to hurriedly strip him of his clothing.

When he was with Mikki, Remus didn't have enough time or presence of mind to be disgusted with his scars or feel self-conscious that he wasn't as attractive as Sirius had always been. He couldn't even comprehend the fact that she was a goddess, too good for him to touch. He just felt the strong desire to feel her, to please her, and so he did, without a second thought.

She was a pretty and talented enough girl that she hardly even had to use her powers to augment the experience, but Mikki always lost control, even when she tried to hold them back, and his head would spin with the thrill of it all.

When they finally collapsed on the satin sheets he caught his breath and realized that they'd somehow made it to one of the guest bedrooms. Remus wrapped an arm around Mikki, trying to remember where his clothes had ended up but failing.

"I don't want to live without him, Remus," she whimpered, snuggling her face into Remus's scarred chest vulnerably. "I don't know if I can."

"You can," he assured her, squeezing her shoulders lovingly. "You can and you will because you have to. Your son needs you."

"Blaise would be better off without a cursed mother," she growled.

"No," Remus insisted. "You don't want him raised by Dark wizards, do you?"

"No," she sighed. "You're right. You're always right, Remus. I just wish that just this once, just about this one thing, you could be wrong."

She was talking about Sirius again, and Remus wanted to be wrong too, so, so much.


End file.
